Can we start with my favourite quote from this adorable piece? First and foremost, this one: she’s put these guys in my head and I couldn’t resist, basically :P. Yeasssshh. Mission accomplished, ta very much. This made me grin uncontrollably for minutes; luckily, I was alone while I did it.
Alright, with that out of the way... (*g*) I just want to thank you so freaking much for this, Llaeyro. Oh my God. This made my day so much, you have no idea. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I loved it. I loved everything about it. I loved the characters, their characterisation, the situation, your writing, everything.
You shall not worry one bit because - as you said - our brains are definitely on track, and I adore your characterisation of the two of them. Okay. I love the way Lily describes him at the very beginning. Especially his adorably scruffy look. I can totally see him being effortlessly adorable and Lily barely controlling the butterflies in her stomach every time she sees him. <3 Perfection. Just what I think they would be. And I love how much they are pining for each other and how long it took them to confess their feelings.
I love the fact that you start straight away with the confrontation and let the characters remember and talk about what led them to that point. It's interesting and the reader is not confused in the least, only happy and excited to discover the details of what has caused the rift between them. And I do love what has actually caused the rift: I love that they tried to suppress their feelings for each other and I love that Hugo is the one who told her to go out with Finnigan, and I absolutely adore the fact that they were both hurting for it. Okay, this line in particular: “Well I didn’t know what it would feel like, okay?” he bit back defensively. And his one: “How much it would hurt. To see you with someone else,” he told his shoes. They made my day. I just love when Hugo is direct about his feelings and I love the effect those words have on Lily.
I particularly love your dialogues. I think you're ace at writing dialogues (you're ace with words in general, really); your dialogues make me shiver - in a very, very good way. They are direct and to the point, and you use exactly the right words at the right place and the effect is wonderful; you manage to convey so many emotions, even when you don't use dialogue tags (like with I bet.). They are short and effective and they make me giggle and my stomach is in knots and contracting for the emotions and I am happy and grinning all the time. So many emotions for such a short story!
And the sexy bit? Alright, it's not exactly a sexy bit, but you write it so sensually and well that I think it's really quite sexy indeed. The snogging is slow and sensual and I still love the dialogues - I want to quote them all, but they're going to take up too much space! I love that he kisses her first and then she chases him and I love the way they kiss. You write the kiss so well, honestly, I'm in awe - most of the kisses I write/read are so boring and repetitive, this is definitely not!
God. This made such a huge grin plaster to my face for so long, and I cannot wait to read and re-read it and re-re-read it for like forever? And now I'm SO looking forward to the third part three years from this story.. Hmm.. what do you think it's going to happen? Are they married already? Is she pregnant? Have they told anybody? Are they doing the nasty in Hugo's office (you can choose his job.. ;D)? LMAO. I am joking, but feel free to write more, you write them so well, you make me grin and cry in happiness at the same time - and I am not exaggerating, you're the best one who's ever written them for me evaaah. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING MY DAY. <3333333 xxx
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2016-08-16 11:13 pm (UTC)Alright, with that out of the way... (*g*) I just want to thank you so freaking much for this, Llaeyro. Oh my God. This made my day so much, you have no idea. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I loved it. I loved everything about it. I loved the characters, their characterisation, the situation, your writing, everything.
You shall not worry one bit because - as you said - our brains are definitely on track, and I adore your characterisation of the two of them. Okay. I love the way Lily describes him at the very beginning. Especially his adorably scruffy look. I can totally see him being effortlessly adorable and Lily barely controlling the butterflies in her stomach every time she sees him. <3 Perfection. Just what I think they would be. And I love how much they are pining for each other and how long it took them to confess their feelings.
I love the fact that you start straight away with the confrontation and let the characters remember and talk about what led them to that point. It's interesting and the reader is not confused in the least, only happy and excited to discover the details of what has caused the rift between them. And I do love what has actually caused the rift: I love that they tried to suppress their feelings for each other and I love that Hugo is the one who told her to go out with Finnigan, and I absolutely adore the fact that they were both hurting for it. Okay, this line in particular: “Well I didn’t know what it would feel like, okay?” he bit back defensively. And his one: “How much it would hurt. To see you with someone else,” he told his shoes. They made my day. I just love when Hugo is direct about his feelings and I love the effect those words have on Lily.
I particularly love your dialogues. I think you're ace at writing dialogues (you're ace with words in general, really); your dialogues make me shiver - in a very, very good way. They are direct and to the point, and you use exactly the right words at the right place and the effect is wonderful; you manage to convey so many emotions, even when you don't use dialogue tags (like with I bet.). They are short and effective and they make me giggle and my stomach is in knots and contracting for the emotions and I am happy and grinning all the time. So many emotions for such a short story!
And the sexy bit? Alright, it's not exactly a sexy bit, but you write it so sensually and well that I think it's really quite sexy indeed. The snogging is slow and sensual and I still love the dialogues - I want to quote them all, but they're going to take up too much space! I love that he kisses her first and then she chases him and I love the way they kiss. You write the kiss so well, honestly, I'm in awe - most of the kisses I write/read are so boring and repetitive, this is definitely not!
God. This made such a huge grin plaster to my face for so long, and I cannot wait to read and re-read it and re-re-read it for like forever? And now I'm SO looking forward to the third part three years from this story.. Hmm.. what do you think it's going to happen? Are they married already? Is she pregnant? Have they told anybody? Are they doing the nasty in Hugo's office (you can choose his job.. ;D)? LMAO. I am joking, but feel free to write more, you write them so well, you make me grin and cry in happiness at the same time - and I am not exaggerating, you're the best one who's ever written them for me evaaah. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING MY DAY. <3333333 xxx